Overcome Self-Doubt And Keep On Painting

Many painters, at one time or another, have doubts about the quality or competence of their work. I include myself in that group. Nevertheless, no matter what, you must keep on painting and overcome your doubts. I have a habit of saving and referring to quotes and statements about painters. I would like to share a few that shed light on how several of our greatest painters considered their own ability to paint.

For instance, Vincent van Gogh expressed his own doubts in a letter to his brother, Theo. He stated that “I really do not know how to paint. Armed with a white panel I take up a position in front of the spot that interests me, contemplating what lies before me, and I say to myself ‘That white panel must be turned into something.’ Dissatisfied with my work I return home, put my panel out of sight, and after taking a little rest, I go back to my work, almost without qualms to see what it looks like. Even then I am not satisfied, for glorious Nature is still too vividly stamped on my mind.” Vincent van Gogh, Letter to his brother Theo.

The Impressionist Pierre-August Renoir, in 1881, was overcome with doubts about his painting. He said “[I]t was a break in my work. I had gone to the very end of Impressionism and I came to the conclusion that I knew neither how to paint or to draw. In short, I was at a dead end.” Impressionism, Realities, pg. 122. Renoir was an accomplished painter who had practiced his art for decades, yet there were times when he doubted that he knew what he was doing. It is said that Renoir was painting on the day he died as a very old man. On that day, when he put down his brushes, he said “I think I have learned something today.”

After a lifetime of painting, Hokusai, the great Japanese artist said, “If only heaven will give me just another ten years . . . just another five years, then I could become a real painter.” Monet is said to have told Mallerme, “Each time I paint I throw myself into the water to learn to swim.” How could Claude Monet have such doubts about his artistic talent?

Even Paul Cezanne struggled with whether he knew what he was doing. It is well known that in anger he would throw his paintings aside in the bushes and trees or would even chop them up with a knife, feeling that his work was not any good. When talking about Cezanne, Alberto Giacometti said that “Cezanne painted some pretty good ones, but he never finished anything . . . after Vollard posed a hundred times, the most Cezanne could say was that the shirt front wasn’t too bad.”

Henri Matisse expressed doubts about himself. “Painting makes me happy sometimes, but one pays for these moments,” Matisse wrote. “My fate is comprised of two things, one excellent, the other terribly bitter, which do not blend into an acceptable average. If you tell me I am a great artist, I cannot really believe it, for my strength comes from my near constant doubt.”

Finally, Paul Gauguin had this to say about himself in a letter to his friend Claude-Emile Schuffenecker in 1890, “there are moments when I ask myself whether I should not do better than to give up; you’ll have to admit that there is plenty of reason for dropping everything. I have never been as discouraged as I am right now, and as a result I do very little work, asking myself ‘what is the good of it and to what end.’” Post Impressionism from Van Gogh to Gauguin, by John Rewald, pg. 339.

So, if these great masters of oil painting would say these things about themselves and their work, then what should I say about my own work? I suggest the answer for me and any artist engaged in painting is this; keep on painting and put aside your self-doubts. One’s art is their own expression of life, feelings, and emotions. Keep at it and like Hokusai, maybe if you are blessed to live into your 90’s you will finally learn to be a painter. Good luck.